I’m talking about the diets, the hair appointments, the assorted face lifts and Botox shots, after the fat-injection knee operations, the teeth bleaching, the vitamin supplements, the rigorous application of Factor 20 even on cloudy days, the crunches, the ignored munchies, the spa stays, the pelvic floor exercises, the wheat juice, the hideous detox with the Austrian leeches, the months on the paprika water Master Cleanse, the whey shakes, the eight-hour turbo moisturisers, the flights to Brazil for the full body overhaul, the regular appointments with the dedicated nail cultivist in Hollywood, not to mention the years of workouts and waxes, the massages, the plucking, the fearsome and brutal eradication of any hint of ageing or fraying at the edges or fading to grey.
All those dedicated, disciplined measures, to beat back the passage of time, to hold back the years, to stay viable and fresh, like a lovely frosted cupcake in the bakery of life.
All that dogged perseverance of keeping young and staying beautiful — and your 33-year-old dolt of a toyboy husband, still cheats on you with a hot blonde bimbette wearing too much make up who is young enough to be your daughter.
Was it worth it, after all that hard work?
ResponderEliminarI’m talking about the diets, the hair appointments, the assorted face lifts and Botox shots, after the fat-injection knee operations, the teeth bleaching, the vitamin supplements, the rigorous application of Factor 20 even on cloudy days, the crunches, the ignored munchies, the spa stays, the pelvic floor exercises, the wheat juice, the hideous detox with the Austrian leeches, the months on the paprika water Master Cleanse, the whey shakes, the eight-hour turbo moisturisers, the flights to Brazil for the full body overhaul, the regular appointments with the dedicated nail cultivist in Hollywood, not to mention the years of workouts and waxes, the massages, the plucking, the fearsome and brutal eradication of any hint of ageing or fraying at the edges or fading to grey.
All those dedicated, disciplined measures, to beat back the passage of time, to hold back the years, to stay viable and fresh, like a lovely frosted cupcake in the bakery of life.
All that dogged perseverance of keeping young and staying beautiful — and your 33-year-old dolt of a toyboy husband, still cheats on you with a hot blonde bimbette wearing too much make up who is young enough to be your daughter.
Holy Moly Guacamole!
ResponderEliminarHoly Moly Guacamoly!
ResponderEliminarMr. Bungle.
ResponderEliminar